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Saliva Control 101:
Controlling your waterworks
by The Kissing Fool

The number one complaint about kissing these days, from both girls and boys, seems to be... you guessed it: SLOPPINESS! I've heard countless stories of wayward tongues, overly abundant saliva, and kisses that leave you feeling more like you got slapped in the face with a giant slug than giddy and breathless (as a good kiss should leave you.)

So what's a kisser to do? There are so many things to worry about when kissing... hands, lips, tongue, hair, body odor... not to mention environmental factors like your surroundings, traffic, parents, siblings, earthquakes... you get the idea. How do you manage to keep up with controlling spit... both yours and theirs, short of pausing every couple of minutes to spit, rinse, and repeat?

Never fear, faithful kissers... here I attempt to suggest a few strategies for dealing with saliva and it's love/hate relationship with kissing. These are not intended as a step-by-step manual for drier kissing. In fact, overly dry kissing causes it's own set of problems. Rather, these suggestions will hopefully give you the basic principles of saliva control... principles which it is up to you to expand, perfect, and adjust to fit your particular kissing style.

1) Of course this may seem obvious, but SWALLOW! In the rush of the moment, this simple solution is often overlooked, but it is important to swallow both before and during the kissing session. Swallowing before the kiss helps prevent a sudden drool-fest once you decide to open your mouth... and a good start is VITAL to good kissing. We know that you're nervous, excited, or whatever... but if you've made it this far, you might as well take that extra step of preparation.

During the kiss itself, ridding yourselves of that extraneous liquid buildup is essential to keeping the kiss somewhat under control. Of course, often this means swallowing a mouthful of their spit as well as yours... which may sound a little unappetizing, especially in this day and age. But if you've been slapping tongues for any length of time, you can pretty much guarantee that your mouths have reached an equilibrium that a little more saliva will certainly not upset. Besides, you've come this far... why be squeamish now?

2) So swallow that excess spit, eh? Well that just leads us to an entirely new set of problems... as in, how exactly does one pull off this maneuver without breaking the flow of the kiss or looking like a complete idiot? Here is where your own particular style must develop... try different strategies and see what works best for you.

One way is use the swallowing process to your advantage. Simply work an opportunity into the kiss, while making the kiss itself better. For example, a quick break to kiss a neck, chin, or ear is an excellent chance to do a little oral housekeeping. Likewise, a small break to take a breath (or 'pant' if you're doing it right) can serve to indicate your excitement and heighten their pleasure, all while giving you a chance to adjust your water level.

The most important thing is to be creative and natural. Breaking away to gulp feverishly is not an especially attractive technique, and may severely shorten the kissing session itself. Just try to relax, be aware of what's going on in your mouth and theirs, and do what you can to keep the situation under control.

Of course, sometimes a nice, wet, sloppy kiss is just what the doctor ordered. But that's another topic, for another day.

So get out there and practice kissing... and try some of the techniques suggested here. You'll generally find that people really appreciate a kisser with the refinement to control the overall moisture content of any kiss. Remember, don't kiss like an amateur... kiss like a pro!


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